Saturday, February 19, 2011

Pros and Cons: Breastfeeding

I am at a breaking point on whether or not I should continue to Breastfeed my baby girl, Taylyn. She is six months old. I feel like she has gotten the required nutrition from breast milk, plus more. I have already said I am done and then decided to continue and then over again. So...
These are my pros and cons to quit breastfeeding.

Pros:
  • I won't  be getting bitten anymore. She didn't bite me yesterday and that is record out of the last three weeks. It hurts! So far I have gotten some advice from my mom, sisters, and internet saying, Tell her no, I tried and she either doesn't understand or doesn't care. I think the first. Flip her mouth, I really don't want to try this. Knowing Taylyn she will scream and cry, maybe exaggerated, but I will feel really, really bad. Stop the feeding. This is probably the best advice. When she is not latched on I no longer let her leisurely decide whether she is finish or not, because she usually bites me when she is done or crying. So whenever she shows signs of being finished I unlatch her. If she latches back on I let her eat until she is bored again. When she gets mad, we are done until she isn't crying. This is limiting the biting but it still happens.
  • I am not the only one who can feed her. Josh can feed her. He wants to feed her. I want him to feed her. I want  NEED a break.
  • Josh and I will be able to go snowboarding or just out, and not worry about Taylyn running out of milk. I could supplement with formula but we never use up the whole can within a month, not even half a can, it is such a waste of money.
  • No more pumping!
  • Bottle feeding is familiar. I did it for 9 months with Daysen. It is a good memory. Watching Taylyn try to hold the bottle by herself, cuddle with out lifting my shirt, and watching her look around curiously while eating, it feels good, it feels like me, and again familiar. 
  • My milk is already diminishing. In these undecided moments I have supplemented with out pumping just in case, so come the evening, I have no milk.
Cons:
  • Formula stinks.
  • Formula spit up, stains clothes.
  • I am not the only one who can feed her.(yes, this was in the pros list too, its complicated) I feel so much closer to Taylyn, she needs me. I remember when I stopped nursing Daysen, at three months. I felt like feeding him was no longer my job. Any ol' person could do it. 
  • I will miss the cuddling and the break. Sometimes I would give Daysen a bottle propped up with a blanket. Until he knew how to hold it himself. Then I would just lay him down to feed himself. Guilty. I know I shouldn't have, but things Had to get done or so it seemed back then. And I will probably do it with Taylyn especially since she can almost hold the bottle herself so I will miss, the 10 minutes I get to sit down and that time for just Taylyn and I.
  • Worse diapers. This would be on this list but she has started eating green beans and such, so that is already happening.
  • Taylyn loves and I mean LOVES nursing. Which Josh realized months ago and I am just beginning to figure out. She does not love bottles but she will take them when she is hungry, only, and I mean only, if it is at the exact temperature she wants it. Which is warmer than warm, not room temperature, not luke warm, warmer than warm. This is going to be difficult when we are not at home. When we are home we have to heat it back up 1-3 times before she is done.
  • I hate making bottles in the middle of the night.
  • I hate washing bottles.
Now tell me how am I supposed to decide???
This is what it is all about. Nothing can ever be black and white, yes or no, there is always the grey and always the maybe and what if. Really it just boils down to what I want. We all know what Taylyn wants. What do I want?

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